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After, I’m skippin’ back to the ship, lighter in the wallet but floatin’—so happy I could cry! Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s seen a thousand mes. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe she’s the queen of the docks, ruler of all prossies! In my head, I’m plannin’—next port, I’m findin’ her again. “The Social Network” vibes hit hard—“I’m CEO, b*tch!”—‘cept I’m just a sailor with a boner and a dream. HA-HA-HA! Moral? Ports got perks, doll—find a prostitute, live a little!

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But then, the clock strikes midnight. The crowd’s getting rowdy, and I’m starting to feel the exhaustion hit. I’m wiping down the bar, and this one guy, let’s call him “Party Animal,” spills his drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I can’t help but chuckle too.

Hundred degrees in a sauna is not how Finns do it